Casagrande: ‘Anemone’ just one linguistic gaslighting word that falls under the term ‘metathesis’

In the Netflix series “Umbrella Academy,” Aidan Gallagher plays Number Five, a 58-year-old assassin and theoretical physicist trapped in a 13-year-old’s body.

A naturally brainy teen and gifted actor, Gallagher has no trouble convincing me Five is a late-middle-aged genius unlocking the mysteries of space-time to stop a world-ending apocalypse. In his performance, I believe every word — well, every word but one: nuclear. Five pronounces it “nucular.”

I know a lot of people share my feelings on this: There’s no vowel between the C and the L — no U to make the second syllable sound like “cue.” The spelling makes clear that the second syllable should be “clee.”

Regular readers of this column know that language is seldom that simple. Just because one pronunciation is right doesn’t mean another is wrong.

“Though disapproved of by many, pronunciations ending in (cue-lar) have been found in widespread use among educated speakers including scientists, lawyers, professors, congressmen, U.S. cabinet members, and at least two U.S. presidents and one vice president,” Merriam-Webster’s dictionary notes. “While most common in the U.S., these pronunciations have also been heard from British and Canadian speakers.”

If you’re like me, you might find this rationale frustrating. That is, when you say, “It’s annoying that so many people pronounce it that way,’” the experts reply, “Many people pronounce it that way.” To which you reply, “I know. I just said that. That’s the problem.”

For this reason, linguists can seem at times like they’re gaslighting. But in fact, they’re just leaving out one crucial bit of information: In language, “many people do it” is the law of the land. Every word, every pronunciation and every rule of grammar was born of how people use the language. If enough of us started using “shoobeedoobee” to mean “rest assured that we’ll handle your funeral arrangements with the utmost dignity,” eventually it would mean exactly that.

Besides, for a recent column, I was happy to discover that my two-syllable pronunciation of “caramel” is fine and possibly superior. So I’d be hypocritical to insist on a phonetic pronunciation of “nuclear.”

If there’s a silver lining, for me, it’s that 20-odd years into writing about grammar, I learned a new term to describe this type of sound switch around: metathesis.

In linguistics, “metathesis” means “the process whereby a sound hops out of its proper place, so to speak, and pops up elsewhere in the word, or switches places with another sound in the word,” according to Merriam Webster’s Dictionary of English Usage.

Wikipedia gives examples that may strike a nerve. My favorite, straight from the sea: anenome in place of anemone. This one drives me nuts — not because people who use it wrong annoy me, but because years ago I declared myself incapable of ever using it right. Can’t spell it. Can’t pronounce it. I’ll sign any petition that banishes it from the English language.

Then there’s “cavalry” for “calvary.” This one’s more serious. If you get “anemone” wrong, the worst that can happen is people will think you’re doing a musical number from Sesame Street. But if you get cavalry wrong, you change your meaning. Merriam-Webster’s definition of calvary is “an open-air representation of the crucifixion of Jesus” or “an experience of usually intense mental suffering.” A cavalry is a component of an army, especially one on horseback.

“Jewlery” in place of “jewelry” is another common metathesis. I doubt I’ve ever pronounced this word the way it’s spelled and don’t plan to start anytime soon. “Asteriks” for “asterisk,” “aks” for “ask,” and “iorn” for “iron” are just a few more examples of common metatheses, and they all come with varying degrees of controversy. You can pick your likes and dislikes.

Me, I’m soft on almost all these, except the incorrect pronunciation of “nuclear” and any pronunciation, right or wrong, of “anemone.”

— June Casagrande is the author of “The Joy of Syntax: A Simple Guide to All the Grammar You Know You Should Know.” She can be reached at [email protected].